Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
