I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
