I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
