P.S. I can't hear my feet
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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