dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
