Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
