This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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