why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
3pm strippers are depressing
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
