Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Found your dick twin last night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
