Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
