yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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