Rock
Scissors
Fuck
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
