Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
