Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
