I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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