How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
