And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
