Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Randomize
