THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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