Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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