Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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