Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
