Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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