If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
