If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
