He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
