I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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