He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
