So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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