they need to just BURY HIM!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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