he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
