lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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