I want to make a zoo with you.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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