dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
