Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
