I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
