There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
