First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
