Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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