He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
