I have demons in me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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