who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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