I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
