The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
