you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
