cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
