no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
