do herpes really smell.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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