I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
