And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
