The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You don't make any sense
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