I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
