Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
