I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
