I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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