Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
