p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
