I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
