I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
