I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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