If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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