i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize