...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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