i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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