omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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