using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize