drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
just found out that she named her cat after me.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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