Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I smell stomach acid.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
17 year olds will be the death of me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
