if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
