Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
